Flaky Tarts and the Men Who Inspire Them
Many girls believe that a guy who is less focused on his looks will be less prone to shallow arrogant looksism. I guess the idea is that he won’t want to be judged by a standard that would put him somewhere near the bottom. But it’s crap. Unfortunately, most men simply have no clue that they’re ugly. Or they don’t care, assuming that their money will attract all the girls they could ever want (I wish they were wrong, but I’m in law school and they’re probably onto something).
Whatever the cause, the result is that a fat boy with a yellow-fanged smile will feel completely justified in rejecting a girl for “cankles,” overplucked eyebrows and other such sins. And personally, I can take it from a guy who waxes his chest or otherwise puts in some sort of effort. But if you’re going to slop that ever-expanding beer belly all over the bar, then don’t you EVER even think of criticizing my pedicure color choice. Butthead. Get to the gym.
So appearances still count for me. Bring on the shallow. I want eye candy. And I think I deserve it. After all, I work hard to take care of myself. Men should too.
The following recipe is in that spirit. Like my favorite shallow men, it’s easy. It looks fabulous. It will impress your friends. Enjoy.
Liz’s Man-slut Tarts
15 phyllo mini tart shells (I used Filo brand, find it in the grocery’s frozen desserts aisle)
2/3 cup flake coconut
1 recipe butterscotch sauce (recipe is below, or just buy it, but homemade is truly fabulous and easy to do, so you really should at least try to make it once)
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Place tart shells on cookie sheet. Bake tart shells according to package directions – 3 to 5 minutes. Remove from cookie sheet. Cool.
Pour coconut on cookie sheet. Spread in an even, thin layer. Bake 8 minutes, stirring as necessary, or until it is evenly browned. Be careful not to break the coconut while you move it around on the sheet. Remove from oven and allow to cool.
Fill cooled tart shells with butterscotch sauce. Top with coconut.
Makes 15.
Butterscotch sauce
1 cup sugar
½ cup water
½ cup heavy whipping cream
1½ tablespoons butter
People who don’t cook can barely believe this actually works. But it does. And it’s pretty easy to do.
Combine water and sugar in a small saucepan. If possible, the pan should be taller than it is wide. You want the mixture to be as deep in the pan as possible. If you use too large a saucepan (more than 8 inches in diameter) the recipe might not work. Stir until sugar is dissolved. (You won’t be able to feel the grains against your spoon). Place over medium high heat and bring to a boil. DO NOT STIR after it boils. Just shake the pot a little if I looks like the mixture may burn, and lower heat as necessary to keep it from scorching. After about 10 minutes, the mixture will start to brown. Wait until it is a dark caramel color. Remove from heat. Pour in cream. Mixture will bubble up very high and create a lot of steam, so be careful. Stir in butter (now it’s ok to stir). Allow mixture to cool slightly before pouring into tart shells. Makes about 1½ cups. This is more than you will need to fill extra tart shells, but trust me, the leftovers won’t last long. Use them as a dipping sauce for apples, reheat and pour over ice cream (amazing!), or serve with poundcake for an easy, but elegant dessert.
~~ Lizread Liz's bio
